Life after a divorce can bring many complexities, including anxiety, fear, excitement, a fresh beginning, and new relationships. Your children will experience many of these things as well. Together, you and your children will forge a new life for yourselves while at the same time trying to maintain some semblance of consistency.
After the dust settles from a divorce, it’s only natural that divorced couples begin thinking of someone new. But that often means introducing children to someone new, too—who also when through their own emotional pain from your divorce.
When you meet a new special someone, incorporating him or her into the mix can be a challenge. Here are some tips for introducing your children to that new person in your life after the divorce:
1. Be a good judge of character: Before you introduce a new potential partner to your children, it is a good idea to ensure that he or she is not a bad influence that could cause your family trouble, now or in the future.
You will never know everything about your new special someone, especially in the beginning, but you should feel absolutely comfortable with that person’s character before introducing him or her to your children.
2. Don’t rush: Following a divorce, you may have a few (or many) fleeting relationships that do not end up going anywhere. Before you introduce a new romantic interest to your children, it is probably a good idea to wait and take the time to assess your relationship and its severity and longevity before involving your children.
This doesn’t mean waiting until you are engaged before introducing him or her to the children, but you should consider whether that person is worth your children’s time, effort, and resulting emotions before any introductions take place.
Read more about the parenting plan and timesharing schedule here.
3. Do not blindside your children: If you have met someone special that you wish to introduce to your children, talk to them before the big meet and greet. As your kids get older, they understand more about what is going on in their parents’ lives.
Trust that they want what is best for you and talk to them about a new potential relationship. That does not mean it will always go smoothly.
Many times, children hope against all odds that their parents will get back together. If they know that you have a new partner, the kids may experience sadness and anger.
Communicate with them as much as you need to in order to help with the transition. And remember, blindsiding is for football, not your family.
4. Keep your co-parent informed: Your co-parent will find out about your new romance sooner or later, and the last thing you want is for him or her to find out from the children. Communicate with your co-parent about what you plan on doing and provide reassurance that this new person is kind, reputable, and worthy of being around your children.
No, you don’t need to seek your co-parent’s permission to start a new relationship, nor is it really his or her business to know what’s going on in your love life, but when it comes to your children’s best interests, it is important and respectful to give your co-parent a “heads up” before the big introduction.
After all, you you want your co-parent to support your decisions and to help the children accept their new reality.
Visit here to read more about how to communicate with a co-parent regarding time sharing with your children.
Divorce can certainly be complicated, but some aspects of life after divorce don’t have to be difficult. Meeting someone new is an exciting and positive experience, and it should be for your children, too.
Communication, in any post-divorce matter, is key. And good communication with your children and co-parent can make a world of difference when it comes to a new relationship after the divorce.
Of course there are situations that arise in life after divorce that you can’t always solve with communication. Some issues become greater and may even require legal representation and advice.
For example, if you and your new special someone eventually remarry, and you are currently receiving child support from your co-parent, then the income you receive from child support payments may be adjusted.
Read more about how to work with a Miami family law attorney to receive child support from your co-parent.
All in all, it’s best to consult with a Miami family law attorney to guide you along the way, and to help your family cope in the best ways possible.
Visit the Estevez-Pazos Law Firm to find out how a Miami family law attorney can help your family after a divorce.
